1
00:00:12,103 --> 00:00:15,343
This is "Judge Miss Sofia."
2
00:00:18,310 --> 00:00:21,550
Welcome to
"Judge Miss Sofia."
3
00:00:21,551 --> 00:00:23,102
Question for our
studio audience.
4
00:00:23,103 --> 00:00:25,171
Hey, what the
fuck is going on?
5
00:00:25,172 --> 00:00:28,826
How many of y'all ever
wanted to kill your kids?
6
00:00:32,034 --> 00:00:33,723
Kids need to be disciplined
just as much
7
00:00:33,724 --> 00:00:35,999
as I do after
my fourth martini.
8
00:00:37,862 --> 00:00:40,688
But just because the
little shits messed up
9
00:00:40,689 --> 00:00:44,171
doesn't mean you have to go
and make the shit shittier.
10
00:00:44,172 --> 00:00:45,723
This ain't
Judge Sofia's show.
11
00:00:45,724 --> 00:00:49,000
This is my show, and I do the
fucking monologues around here!
12
00:00:50,620 --> 00:00:52,482
Kick her out of here!
We don't wanna hear you!
13
00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:54,171
Thank you.
Thank you.
14
00:00:54,172 --> 00:00:55,205
Thank you.
15
00:00:55,206 --> 00:00:56,343
Thank you all.
16
00:00:56,344 --> 00:00:59,516
Bailiff, unleash your dogs.
17
00:00:59,517 --> 00:01:04,757
Who the fuck you calling
a dog, Holiday Heart?
18
00:01:04,758 --> 00:01:06,103
Go back to bed, Pat,
19
00:01:06,206 --> 00:01:08,931
and let us help you
fuck up Junebug's life.
20
00:01:09,034 --> 00:01:12,931
Mama, why are you dressed
like Big Worm in brown?
21
00:01:14,413 --> 00:01:16,586
Ma, help me.
They trying to send me to jail.
22
00:01:16,689 --> 00:01:18,103
Junebug!
23
00:01:18,206 --> 00:01:21,586
I have decided
on a sentence of...
24
00:01:21,689 --> 00:01:23,067
10 inches.
25
00:01:23,068 --> 00:01:24,241
- Oh, no!
- Oh.
26
00:01:24,344 --> 00:01:25,412
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
27
00:01:25,413 --> 00:01:27,068
I had my freak
Twitter account open.
28
00:01:27,172 --> 00:01:31,757
I mean a sentence of ten years.
29
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:34,067
Yeah, that's right.
Take that. Take that.
30
00:01:34,068 --> 00:01:35,481
- He needs that.
- That makes sense.
31
00:01:35,482 --> 00:01:37,412
- I would take that.
- Ten years? For one mistake?
32
00:01:37,413 --> 00:01:39,033
Ma, come on.
Stop this.
33
00:01:39,034 --> 00:01:40,067
I can't handle ten years.
34
00:01:40,068 --> 00:01:41,792
Listen here, little nigger.
35
00:01:41,793 --> 00:01:45,619
If you can't do the time, then
don't drive and drink wine.
36
00:01:48,206 --> 00:01:49,550
I hate you, Ma.
37
00:01:49,551 --> 00:01:50,896
What did you say?
38
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,861
together:
He said he hate you, Ma!
39
00:01:53,862 --> 00:01:56,585
You're a horrible mother.
40
00:01:56,586 --> 00:01:58,551
I was just trying
to teach you a lesson.
41
00:01:58,655 --> 00:02:00,378
You a snitch-ass, Pat.
42
00:02:00,379 --> 00:02:01,999
At least I was kind enough
43
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:05,274
to wait for white folks
to call the cops on you.
44
00:02:05,275 --> 00:02:06,792
Take him away, Mildred.
45
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:07,964
Let him go!
46
00:02:07,965 --> 00:02:10,240
You did this to yourself, bitch.
47
00:02:10,241 --> 00:02:13,067
And now I'm going to do it
to you, you ugly bitch.
48
00:02:13,068 --> 00:02:14,930
You give me back my gavel!
49
00:02:14,931 --> 00:02:15,964
Give me back--
50
00:02:17,172 --> 00:02:18,619
Now get out of my court.
51
00:02:18,620 --> 00:02:20,448
Get off my court.
52
00:02:20,551 --> 00:02:22,620
Give me my gavel!
53
00:02:22,724 --> 00:02:24,516
Bailiff!
54
00:02:24,517 --> 00:02:25,448
What the fuck?
55
00:02:27,758 --> 00:02:29,275
Bailiff!
56
00:02:29,379 --> 00:02:30,688
Bailiff!
57
00:02:30,689 --> 00:02:33,137
Somebody get this big,
black n--
58
00:02:33,241 --> 00:02:34,309
Terry!
59
00:02:34,310 --> 00:02:36,482
Terry, what the fuck
you hit me for?
60
00:02:36,586 --> 00:02:39,792
Why you hitting me?
61
00:02:39,793 --> 00:02:41,481
What is it, baby?
You OK?
62
00:02:41,482 --> 00:02:43,378
Oh, my God,
I just dreamed Miss Sofia
63
00:02:43,379 --> 00:02:45,447
sentenced Junebug to 10 inches.
64
00:02:45,448 --> 00:02:46,619
Say what?
65
00:02:46,620 --> 00:02:47,654
And Mildred was
in there looking
66
00:02:47,655 --> 00:02:49,412
like Charlamagne Tha God.
67
00:02:49,413 --> 00:02:51,654
God.
68
00:02:51,655 --> 00:02:53,826
Baby, baby, please calm down.
69
00:02:53,827 --> 00:02:56,447
You just fell asleep
with that judge show on.
70
00:02:56,448 --> 00:02:58,482
Sweetie, go on back to sleep,
all right?
71
00:02:58,586 --> 00:03:00,517
It was only a dream.
72
00:03:00,620 --> 00:03:01,517
OK.
73
00:03:01,620 --> 00:03:02,689
Jesus.
74
00:03:07,655 --> 00:03:10,067
Hey, Pat.
75
00:03:10,068 --> 00:03:11,240
Kiss my ass!
76
00:03:11,241 --> 00:03:12,757
You better not
change that channel.
77
00:03:12,758 --> 00:03:13,861
No, I'm not your--
78
00:03:13,862 --> 00:03:15,033
Bye, bitch.
79
00:03:15,034 --> 00:03:16,068
No!
80
00:03:17,724 --> 00:03:18,689
Welcome back to the--
81
00:03:18,793 --> 00:03:20,413
♪ "The Ms. Pat Show" ♪
82
00:03:26,379 --> 00:03:28,205
Hey, y'all.
Where is Ma and Dad?
83
00:03:28,206 --> 00:03:30,136
We need to figure out
this Junebug situation.
84
00:03:30,137 --> 00:03:31,723
Yeah, I know.
That's why we're here, too.
85
00:03:31,724 --> 00:03:32,826
Oh, Ash,
did you meet my girlfriend?
86
00:03:32,827 --> 00:03:35,723
- Hi, I'm Sheila.
- Oh, hi.
87
00:03:35,724 --> 00:03:37,758
I see the friend,
but where the girl at?
88
00:03:39,862 --> 00:03:41,344
That's what the fuck
I been saying.
89
00:03:41,448 --> 00:03:42,412
OK.
90
00:03:42,413 --> 00:03:43,723
And she a cop.
91
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,205
I still can't
believe your parents
92
00:03:45,206 --> 00:03:46,309
put them in there like that.
93
00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:47,550
I mean, drunk driving or not,
94
00:03:47,551 --> 00:03:49,723
that is really no place
to put a kid.
95
00:03:49,724 --> 00:03:51,240
How do you think
he's doing in there?
96
00:03:51,241 --> 00:03:53,378
About as well as
Trump's doing in office.
97
00:03:53,379 --> 00:03:56,102
Uh, excuse me,
but I'm a Trumper.
98
00:03:56,103 --> 00:03:57,136
Thank you very much.
99
00:03:58,620 --> 00:04:00,034
Oh, just fucking with y'all.
100
00:04:02,965 --> 00:04:04,413
You should have
seen your faces!
101
00:04:05,827 --> 00:04:06,964
Look, I'm taking
bets to see how long
102
00:04:06,965 --> 00:04:08,102
it's going to be
before Junebug
103
00:04:08,103 --> 00:04:09,137
starts begging to come home.
104
00:04:09,241 --> 00:04:10,447
My guess is by the
end of the day.
105
00:04:10,448 --> 00:04:12,447
I'll say by the end
of breakfast.
106
00:04:12,448 --> 00:04:13,861
That boy is softer
than the poop
107
00:04:13,862 --> 00:04:15,310
you take after eating curry.
108
00:04:18,551 --> 00:04:21,102
Answer the damn question.
109
00:04:21,103 --> 00:04:22,757
I'll come down there
and put your nut sack
110
00:04:22,758 --> 00:04:25,516
in a damn ponytail.
111
00:04:25,517 --> 00:04:27,619
Don't you put me on hold!
112
00:04:27,620 --> 00:04:30,274
This fucker put me on hold.
113
00:04:30,275 --> 00:04:32,413
Who are you yelling at
this early?
114
00:04:32,517 --> 00:04:34,757
Home Depot.
115
00:04:34,758 --> 00:04:36,343
Oh, Pat.
116
00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:40,378
Can you please ask them how to
make a Swarovski crystal wall?
117
00:04:40,379 --> 00:04:42,136
OK? Because I'm remodeling
Janelle's room.
118
00:04:42,137 --> 00:04:44,240
I can't wait for y'all
to see the vision.
119
00:04:44,241 --> 00:04:45,482
How about you go out
and pay your bills
120
00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:48,931
before you go balls
to the Swarovski walls?
121
00:04:50,241 --> 00:04:51,931
Um, hi again.
122
00:04:52,034 --> 00:04:54,550
Um, listen,
I know plenty of contractors
123
00:04:54,551 --> 00:04:56,136
that could lighten the load
for you.
124
00:04:56,137 --> 00:04:57,723
If you give me the OK,
I got you.
125
00:04:57,724 --> 00:04:58,792
Can somebody tell me why
126
00:04:58,793 --> 00:05:00,999
the cop who arrested Junebug
is here,
127
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,516
and why the fuck
she eating my food?
128
00:05:02,517 --> 00:05:03,964
Well, Mom,
129
00:05:03,965 --> 00:05:06,861
I would like for you to
officially meet the luscious--
130
00:05:06,862 --> 00:05:07,999
- Ooh.
- the loving--
131
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:09,205
- Ow.
- the amazing--
132
00:05:09,206 --> 00:05:10,516
Can you get to the
part where you tell me
133
00:05:10,517 --> 00:05:12,137
why the fuck she in my house?
134
00:05:13,448 --> 00:05:15,000
This is the woman
that I moved in with,
135
00:05:15,103 --> 00:05:16,862
Detective Sheila Jackson,
my girl.
136
00:05:16,965 --> 00:05:21,343
So you just out here
eating AAR-pussy, Brandon?
137
00:05:21,344 --> 00:05:22,516
Look, you need
to chill out, Ma.
138
00:05:22,517 --> 00:05:23,689
That was uncalled for.
139
00:05:23,793 --> 00:05:25,343
You need to chill
the fuck out, first of all.
140
00:05:25,344 --> 00:05:29,034
So madam,
I see you like them young.
141
00:05:29,137 --> 00:05:31,172
She just like that chick
off of the "Golden Girl."
142
00:05:31,275 --> 00:05:32,309
What's her name?
143
00:05:32,310 --> 00:05:33,792
both: Blanche.
144
00:05:33,793 --> 00:05:34,964
So Blanche,
ain't you a little seasoned
145
00:05:34,965 --> 00:05:36,412
to be dating a 30-year-old?
146
00:05:36,413 --> 00:05:37,826
How old are you any damn way?
147
00:05:37,827 --> 00:05:40,826
I'm as young as your son
made me feel last night
148
00:05:40,827 --> 00:05:42,310
when he was backing the blue.
149
00:05:42,413 --> 00:05:44,517
Hey!
150
00:05:44,620 --> 00:05:47,172
I'm going to put that
right back in the holster.
151
00:05:48,413 --> 00:05:49,688
So Brandon,
152
00:05:49,689 --> 00:05:51,034
you out here hunchin' cops
for a place to stay?
153
00:05:51,137 --> 00:05:52,861
I mean, you always did
say fuck the police, so--
154
00:05:52,862 --> 00:05:55,137
Man, I ain't say
fuck that old bitch!
155
00:05:59,379 --> 00:06:00,343
Wait a minute.
156
00:06:00,344 --> 00:06:01,516
Get your Wolverine nails
out, of my--
157
00:06:01,517 --> 00:06:04,619
you grabbing my
motherfucking fat!
158
00:06:04,620 --> 00:06:06,067
Pat, now,
I know your temper's
159
00:06:06,068 --> 00:06:07,619
all over the place
because of Junebug,
160
00:06:07,620 --> 00:06:10,585
but you just got back into
Brandon's good graces.
161
00:06:10,586 --> 00:06:12,585
Can you at least pretend
to be supportive?
162
00:06:12,586 --> 00:06:16,205
Do I look like a sports bra?
163
00:06:16,206 --> 00:06:18,757
I have not seen Brandon
smile like this in a while.
164
00:06:18,758 --> 00:06:20,964
I mean, the heart wants
what the heart wants.
165
00:06:20,965 --> 00:06:24,585
And her heart only
want a hard-t dick.
166
00:06:24,586 --> 00:06:28,793
Well, that seems like
a solid reason to me.
167
00:06:28,896 --> 00:06:31,102
And his heart only want
a damn place to stay.
168
00:06:31,103 --> 00:06:32,343
Come on, Denise.
169
00:06:32,344 --> 00:06:33,413
Everybody know
that Brandon ain't
170
00:06:33,517 --> 00:06:35,516
nothing but a hobo-sexual.
171
00:06:35,517 --> 00:06:37,240
OK.
172
00:06:37,241 --> 00:06:39,412
He was really determined
to prove to us
173
00:06:39,413 --> 00:06:40,895
that he didn't need us anymore.
174
00:06:40,896 --> 00:06:42,930
Exactly.
They ain't got shit in common.
175
00:06:42,931 --> 00:06:44,551
What she gonna do is she
gonna get bored with him,
176
00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:45,757
she going to dump his ass,
177
00:06:45,758 --> 00:06:47,206
and he gonna be back
in my basement.
178
00:06:54,068 --> 00:06:57,378
OK, Brandon does not
need another heartbreak.
179
00:06:57,379 --> 00:06:59,620
Why don't you just take
a minute and get to know her?
180
00:06:59,724 --> 00:07:00,827
Why don't you
get to know her?
181
00:07:00,931 --> 00:07:01,862
What?
No.
182
00:07:01,965 --> 00:07:03,033
Why can't you do it?
183
00:07:03,034 --> 00:07:04,274
I got a son in jail.
184
00:07:04,275 --> 00:07:06,136
I got a basement to finish.
I got shit to do.
185
00:07:06,137 --> 00:07:07,516
All you got to do
is find out what
186
00:07:07,517 --> 00:07:08,689
this woman want with Brandon.
187
00:07:08,793 --> 00:07:13,033
Mm-mm.
I don't make friends with feds.
188
00:07:13,034 --> 00:07:15,826
Well, what if I buy your ass
that crystal wall you want?
189
00:07:15,827 --> 00:07:18,137
You want me to wear a wire?
190
00:07:19,896 --> 00:07:24,343
If you don't put
Janelle bra back up--
191
00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:26,930
Well, it came with the room.
192
00:07:30,827 --> 00:07:33,000
You have a
collect call from--
193
00:07:33,103 --> 00:07:35,206
Mama, please!
194
00:07:35,310 --> 00:07:36,516
both: It's Junebug.
195
00:07:36,517 --> 00:07:39,412
To accept this call,
press 1.
196
00:07:39,413 --> 00:07:41,172
Denise won that bet.
197
00:07:41,275 --> 00:07:43,378
Ha. Pay up, bitches.
198
00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:44,723
Hey, y'all, shut the hell up.
199
00:07:44,724 --> 00:07:46,827
I want to see what this
little convict got to say.
200
00:07:48,172 --> 00:07:50,412
Ma, please drop the charges.
201
00:07:50,413 --> 00:07:52,205
It's a nightmare in here.
202
00:07:52,206 --> 00:07:54,205
I watched a man doo-doo today,
203
00:07:54,206 --> 00:07:56,689
and he--
he watched me watch him.
204
00:07:59,482 --> 00:08:01,550
The whole time.
205
00:08:01,551 --> 00:08:04,724
And then worst part is...
206
00:08:04,827 --> 00:08:07,102
they took my phone, Ma.
207
00:08:07,103 --> 00:08:08,757
No TikTok, no nothing.
208
00:08:08,758 --> 00:08:11,550
I mean, at this point,
I'll even take MySpace.
209
00:08:11,551 --> 00:08:13,000
Whatever that was.
210
00:08:17,034 --> 00:08:20,068
Yeah, I--I--I was done.
211
00:08:20,172 --> 00:08:21,551
Pat, if I may--
212
00:08:21,655 --> 00:08:22,688
You may not.
213
00:08:22,689 --> 00:08:23,861
OK.
214
00:08:23,862 --> 00:08:24,930
No, no, no, no, no, baby.
215
00:08:24,931 --> 00:08:26,447
Say what you need to say.
216
00:08:26,448 --> 00:08:29,171
It's just that, um, Indiana
jails may seem a little soft,
217
00:08:29,172 --> 00:08:32,931
Pat, but I know that
they can be pretty rough.
218
00:08:33,034 --> 00:08:34,724
Don't you think
he's learned his lesson by now?
219
00:08:34,827 --> 00:08:36,067
No, the fuck, I don't.
220
00:08:36,068 --> 00:08:37,412
Do you realize he could
have killed somebody?
221
00:08:37,413 --> 00:08:39,412
And he calling here,
asking for his damn phone?
222
00:08:39,413 --> 00:08:40,861
Let me tell you something, madam.
223
00:08:40,862 --> 00:08:43,240
Just because you
dry-humping my son
224
00:08:43,241 --> 00:08:44,724
don't mean you can
tell me what to do
225
00:08:44,827 --> 00:08:46,240
with my other fucking son.
226
00:08:46,241 --> 00:08:47,448
OK, look, now, you need to
stop disrespecting my woman.
227
00:08:47,551 --> 00:08:48,930
- You need to sit your butt--
- No, I do not.
228
00:08:48,931 --> 00:08:50,171
Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!
229
00:08:50,172 --> 00:08:51,412
Ma, why don't
you just sit down
230
00:08:51,413 --> 00:08:52,792
and relax for a little bit?
231
00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:54,448
I can't sit down and relax.
232
00:08:54,551 --> 00:08:56,723
If I do, this whole damn
house will fall apart.
233
00:08:56,724 --> 00:08:58,068
Well, that's not true,
Pat-Pat.
234
00:08:58,172 --> 00:08:59,585
You just won't let us help you.
235
00:09:00,724 --> 00:09:01,792
What?
236
00:09:01,793 --> 00:09:03,000
Oh, my God.
237
00:09:03,103 --> 00:09:04,999
How did Junebug end up in jail?
238
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,309
Girl, you know we
all knew Junebug was
239
00:09:06,310 --> 00:09:07,274
going to go to jail one day.
240
00:09:07,275 --> 00:09:08,620
What do you want?
241
00:09:08,724 --> 00:09:11,034
Well, I was wondering,
could you
242
00:09:11,137 --> 00:09:14,619
possibly Cash App me some money
so I can get some food?
243
00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:16,172
See, everybody
want shit from me,
244
00:09:16,275 --> 00:09:17,930
and fuck them
cross-eyed contractor,
245
00:09:17,931 --> 00:09:19,826
'cause I know how to do it
by my damn self,
246
00:09:19,827 --> 00:09:22,447
'cause I do everything
by my damn self!
247
00:09:24,275 --> 00:09:26,481
What the hell you want?
248
00:09:26,482 --> 00:09:27,689
Oh, hey.
249
00:09:27,793 --> 00:09:29,826
Yeah, I can do your podcast
today.
250
00:09:29,827 --> 00:09:32,343
No, no, you cannot.
251
00:09:32,344 --> 00:09:34,136
Girl, you lost
your fucking mind?
252
00:09:34,137 --> 00:09:36,171
I need you to focus
on this Junebug situation.
253
00:09:36,172 --> 00:09:37,481
Exactly, because you
really know that you don't
254
00:09:37,482 --> 00:09:39,000
want to leave him in there.
255
00:09:39,103 --> 00:09:40,481
Can I just
tell y'all something?
256
00:09:40,482 --> 00:09:42,102
Junebug did that
shit to hisself,
257
00:09:42,103 --> 00:09:43,930
and he gotta learn
a fucking lesson.
258
00:09:43,931 --> 00:09:45,516
And let me tell all
y'all something.
259
00:09:45,517 --> 00:09:48,102
I've been a fucking mama since
I was in the seventh grade,
260
00:09:48,103 --> 00:09:50,103
so I know what the
fuck I'm doing!
261
00:09:54,034 --> 00:09:56,862
I wouldn't brag about the
seventh grade no more, Pat-Pat.
262
00:10:01,482 --> 00:10:02,861
- Hey, Ashley.
- Hey.
263
00:10:02,862 --> 00:10:04,240
I didn't know you were
going to be here.
264
00:10:04,241 --> 00:10:05,481
Yeah, just trying
to figure out
265
00:10:05,482 --> 00:10:07,481
why y'all haven't
bailed Junebug out of jail yet.
266
00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:10,481
Yeah, about that.
267
00:10:10,482 --> 00:10:12,481
Baby, I've been losing sleep
about what we did to Junebug,
268
00:10:12,482 --> 00:10:14,205
and I--
- Wait.
269
00:10:14,206 --> 00:10:15,585
Baby, what's wrong?
270
00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:19,964
Look, Terry,
just send Janelle some money.
271
00:10:19,965 --> 00:10:21,481
I gotta go paint the basement.
272
00:10:21,482 --> 00:10:23,000
Well, baby, why are you
painting the basement?
273
00:10:23,103 --> 00:10:24,516
'Cause she don't want
to think about Junebug.
274
00:10:24,517 --> 00:10:27,102
Why don't you mind your
damn business, little girl?
275
00:10:27,103 --> 00:10:28,447
Don't act like
you don't remember
276
00:10:28,448 --> 00:10:30,137
how hard jail was for you.
277
00:10:30,241 --> 00:10:33,688
And you can ignore me all you
want, but you know I'm right.
278
00:10:33,689 --> 00:10:35,999
That woman loves to distract
herself from an emotion.
279
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,862
Yeah, well,
you know how your mama is.
280
00:10:37,965 --> 00:10:39,655
She got to stay busy
or she going to go crazy.
281
00:10:39,758 --> 00:10:42,172
Heck, when she
was in labor with Junebug,
282
00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:44,412
she saw a stroller on sale,
left the hospital,
283
00:10:44,413 --> 00:10:46,826
and went to go
forge some checks.
284
00:10:46,827 --> 00:10:49,447
Well, it's one thing to be
stuck in survival mode at 30.
285
00:10:49,448 --> 00:10:50,964
But at 50?
286
00:10:50,965 --> 00:10:52,827
That's a poor man's mentality.
287
00:10:52,931 --> 00:10:55,172
She treating herself
like a machine.
288
00:10:55,275 --> 00:10:56,378
If she keeps going this hard,
289
00:10:56,379 --> 00:10:57,826
she's literally
going to self-destruct.
290
00:10:57,827 --> 00:11:01,205
Hey hey, hey.
I got my eye on her, baby.
291
00:11:01,206 --> 00:11:03,240
Have you asked her
if she's even taken the time
292
00:11:03,241 --> 00:11:04,688
to process Lloyd's death?
293
00:11:04,689 --> 00:11:06,309
And now this Junebug mess?
294
00:11:06,310 --> 00:11:08,792
I'll handle the Junebug
situation, Ashley.
295
00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:10,654
But, you know,
she can't help but to stay
296
00:11:10,655 --> 00:11:11,724
busy when she's overwhelmed.
297
00:11:11,827 --> 00:11:14,413
You know, that ain't never
going to change.
298
00:11:14,517 --> 00:11:16,481
Well, if it doesn't change,
how much longer
299
00:11:16,482 --> 00:11:18,724
you think you got
on this Earth with her, Pop?
300
00:11:18,827 --> 00:11:20,862
Ten years?
Five?
301
00:11:20,965 --> 00:11:24,550
Think about that.
302
00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:27,310
And stop drinking Pepsi.
They don't believe in DEI.
303
00:11:32,344 --> 00:11:35,620
So what's y'all playing?
Cops and cradle robbers?
304
00:11:37,206 --> 00:11:40,757
All that young energy probably
wearing your ass out, huh?
305
00:11:40,758 --> 00:11:43,516
Wow. Um, I'd like to think
that our relationship
306
00:11:43,517 --> 00:11:44,689
is deeper than that.
307
00:11:44,793 --> 00:11:47,378
Well, shit.
How deep do we go?
308
00:11:47,379 --> 00:11:48,758
Seriously, Auntie?
309
00:11:48,862 --> 00:11:50,550
Oh, no,
it's nothing like that.
310
00:11:50,551 --> 00:11:51,517
Oh, don't test
the pickle now.
311
00:11:51,620 --> 00:11:52,654
It ain't nothing.
312
00:11:52,655 --> 00:11:54,241
OK.
313
00:11:54,344 --> 00:11:57,378
No, we actually met through
this grief counseling group
314
00:11:57,379 --> 00:12:00,206
that I started when
my husband died.
315
00:12:00,310 --> 00:12:03,447
Oh, well, damn.
316
00:12:03,448 --> 00:12:05,275
Yeah, feel bad now, do you?
317
00:12:05,379 --> 00:12:09,447
No, 'cause her
pussy ain't dead.
318
00:12:09,448 --> 00:12:12,826
I feel really lucky to have
found this one when I did.
319
00:12:12,827 --> 00:12:14,481
Nah, I'm the lucky one.
320
00:12:14,482 --> 00:12:16,447
She's so fine, when I want to
touch her with my left hand,
321
00:12:16,448 --> 00:12:17,827
my right hand want to fight.
322
00:12:17,931 --> 00:12:21,103
Whoa, back up, little nigga.
- You're too much.
323
00:12:21,206 --> 00:12:23,447
Anyway, the group was
filled with a bunch of widows
324
00:12:23,448 --> 00:12:27,309
like myself, and we welcomed
Brandon with open arms and--
325
00:12:27,310 --> 00:12:29,585
Open legs?
326
00:12:29,586 --> 00:12:31,826
No, I was actually
going to say,
327
00:12:31,827 --> 00:12:35,793
and he opened up to us about
the death of his father.
328
00:12:35,896 --> 00:12:38,586
Oh, well, I'm just going
to stop guessing then.
329
00:12:38,689 --> 00:12:39,827
OK?
330
00:12:39,931 --> 00:12:42,619
Brandon, get on up and
give us some time alone.
331
00:12:42,620 --> 00:12:44,274
Why?
So you can grill my girlfriend?
332
00:12:44,275 --> 00:12:46,585
No, so I could--
333
00:12:46,586 --> 00:12:47,895
so I could do her hair.
334
00:12:47,896 --> 00:12:48,793
What?
335
00:12:48,896 --> 00:12:51,274
Oh, no, I just had my hair did.
336
00:12:51,275 --> 00:12:52,482
Oh, OK, girl.
337
00:12:52,586 --> 00:12:54,378
Well, you know
you could use a little refresh.
338
00:12:54,379 --> 00:12:55,861
Yeah.
339
00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:57,757
- No, actually--
- I insist.
340
00:12:57,758 --> 00:12:58,964
All right, look.
341
00:12:58,965 --> 00:13:00,102
Just don't give her
no cheetah print wig.
342
00:13:00,103 --> 00:13:01,551
- Cheetah print?
- So what?
343
00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:05,068
The cougar don't
fuck with cheetahs?
344
00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:07,862
Come on, now.
345
00:13:07,965 --> 00:13:09,619
I told you I'ma
take good care of her.
346
00:13:09,620 --> 00:13:10,619
Go on.
347
00:13:10,620 --> 00:13:12,205
Yeah.
348
00:13:12,206 --> 00:13:14,206
So it looked nice, but,
like, what you--
349
00:13:14,310 --> 00:13:16,205
what are you trying to do
with this?
350
00:13:16,206 --> 00:13:18,136
Well, I mean,
I'm just going to spend
351
00:13:18,137 --> 00:13:19,379
a little girl time with you.
352
00:13:19,482 --> 00:13:20,757
- Oh, OK.
- Yeah.
353
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:21,826
- OK.
- OK?
354
00:13:21,827 --> 00:13:23,378
I'm going to touch your scalp,
now, OK?
355
00:13:23,379 --> 00:13:24,826
Because I've been told
356
00:13:24,827 --> 00:13:28,550
that I can see a bitch's entire
life from touching one nap.
357
00:13:28,551 --> 00:13:30,689
It's called nap-stronomy.
358
00:13:30,793 --> 00:13:32,378
Now you know what?
359
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:34,205
I'm not really sure
if this is a good--
360
00:13:34,206 --> 00:13:36,172
whoa, whoa, hold on now.
361
00:13:36,275 --> 00:13:37,827
Hold the fuck on.
- Uh-uh, uh-huh.
362
00:13:37,931 --> 00:13:39,034
See that there? Uh-huh.
363
00:13:39,137 --> 00:13:40,516
- Yeah.
- Oh, my goodness!
364
00:13:40,517 --> 00:13:42,378
- What?
- Are you from Indiana?
365
00:13:42,379 --> 00:13:43,826
Yeah, born and raised.
366
00:13:43,827 --> 00:13:45,172
Uh-huh.
367
00:13:45,275 --> 00:13:46,792
And you went to Hansberry?
368
00:13:46,793 --> 00:13:48,619
Yep, that's where
my niece is at.
369
00:13:48,620 --> 00:13:49,999
Wow, you are
really good at this.
370
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,378
Yeah, I tried to tell you.
371
00:13:51,379 --> 00:13:52,964
Oh, oh, shit.
Freaknik.
372
00:13:52,965 --> 00:13:55,309
Freaknik.
'94.
373
00:13:55,310 --> 00:13:56,482
And '95.
374
00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:57,619
Oh, 'cause--
375
00:13:57,620 --> 00:13:59,378
both: We don't talk about '96.
376
00:13:59,379 --> 00:14:00,861
I know that's right.
377
00:14:00,862 --> 00:14:02,826
Oh, oh,
378
00:14:02,827 --> 00:14:04,412
- Oh, oh what?
- Oh, my goodness.
379
00:14:04,413 --> 00:14:06,068
What is it? What is it?
380
00:14:06,172 --> 00:14:08,205
Two STDs?
381
00:14:08,206 --> 00:14:09,379
Hey!
382
00:14:10,931 --> 00:14:12,931
It was some shit
you could cure.
383
00:14:14,862 --> 00:14:15,895
OK.
384
00:14:15,896 --> 00:14:16,895
We gonna need to move on,
385
00:14:16,896 --> 00:14:18,205
'cause that's enough
right there.
386
00:14:18,206 --> 00:14:19,792
Wait.
387
00:14:19,793 --> 00:14:23,068
Are you sure you don't want
to talk about these abortions?
388
00:14:23,172 --> 00:14:26,068
Well,
you can't keep them all.
389
00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:34,758
Ashley,
give me my damn phone.
390
00:14:34,862 --> 00:14:36,757
Nope.
I am your secretary today.
391
00:14:36,758 --> 00:14:38,895
Those people who want you to
do their podcast keep calling,
392
00:14:38,896 --> 00:14:40,275
and I keep telling them no.
393
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,619
You can't answer my phone.
That's against the damn law.
394
00:14:42,620 --> 00:14:43,724
What law?
395
00:14:43,827 --> 00:14:45,067
Now give me my fucking phone!
396
00:14:45,068 --> 00:14:46,275
Now give me my goddamn phone!
- No, mm-mm.
397
00:14:46,379 --> 00:14:47,654
Give me my phone back!
Give me my--
398
00:14:47,655 --> 00:14:48,931
Back up.
Back it up.
399
00:14:49,034 --> 00:14:51,586
Who ordered Chick-fil-A?
400
00:14:51,689 --> 00:14:53,033
Give me my
goddamn phone back.
401
00:14:53,034 --> 00:14:54,895
You know I can't be running.
402
00:14:54,896 --> 00:14:56,275
Bitch, I got on a panty liner.
403
00:14:56,379 --> 00:14:58,551
Give me my goddamn--
404
00:14:58,655 --> 00:14:59,689
give me my phone!
405
00:15:01,482 --> 00:15:02,517
- Ma, stop playing.
- Ow.
406
00:15:02,620 --> 00:15:03,619
You ain't got to do all that.
407
00:15:03,620 --> 00:15:04,654
Here go your little phone.
408
00:15:04,655 --> 00:15:06,757
Oh, my stomach hurt.
409
00:15:06,758 --> 00:15:08,447
Wait, for real?
410
00:15:08,448 --> 00:15:09,826
Should I call 911?
411
00:15:09,827 --> 00:15:11,137
No, I'm OK.
412
00:15:11,241 --> 00:15:12,620
Pat, you all right?
413
00:15:12,724 --> 00:15:13,793
What's going on?
414
00:15:13,896 --> 00:15:15,309
This keeps happening.
415
00:15:15,310 --> 00:15:16,481
You need to go back
to the hospital
416
00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:18,000
and get yourself looked at.
417
00:15:18,103 --> 00:15:20,309
I know my stomach.
I got gas now.
418
00:15:20,310 --> 00:15:21,793
Just back up,
'cause when I let it go,
419
00:15:21,896 --> 00:15:24,310
it going to blow
y'all fucking wigs off.
420
00:15:24,965 --> 00:15:26,619
Nah, she going
to the hospital.
421
00:15:26,620 --> 00:15:28,033
Mm-hmm.
422
00:15:28,034 --> 00:15:29,964
But since you insist,
I'm going to tell you now.
423
00:15:29,965 --> 00:15:31,344
When the ambulance
get here, make
424
00:15:31,448 --> 00:15:32,792
sure it's two other
niggas in there
425
00:15:32,793 --> 00:15:34,310
so I can split the
bill with them.
426
00:15:36,413 --> 00:15:38,309
Well, this is
all y'all's fault.
427
00:15:38,310 --> 00:15:40,240
The last time we was here,
you said it was exhaustion.
428
00:15:40,241 --> 00:15:42,792
Who knew a nigga needing a nap
would put you in the hospital?
429
00:15:42,793 --> 00:15:44,481
So she takes a nap
for exhaustion,
430
00:15:44,482 --> 00:15:47,343
and now the bitch's
check engine light is on.
431
00:15:47,344 --> 00:15:48,654
Terry, come on.
432
00:15:48,655 --> 00:15:50,309
You got to do
something about them
433
00:15:50,310 --> 00:15:51,895
not letting us see her yet.
434
00:15:51,896 --> 00:15:52,964
All right, Denise.
435
00:15:54,862 --> 00:15:56,793
Oh, hold on now.
Everybody, just calm down.
436
00:15:56,896 --> 00:15:58,310
It's Janelle.
437
00:15:58,413 --> 00:16:00,412
I don't want her getting scared
while she's up at school, OK?
438
00:16:00,413 --> 00:16:01,895
How you doing, baby?
439
00:16:01,896 --> 00:16:03,895
Oh, my God, Dad,
please tell me Mom's OK.
440
00:16:03,896 --> 00:16:05,241
We're waiting to hear
from the doctor now.
441
00:16:05,344 --> 00:16:07,344
We should have taken
this more serious.
442
00:16:07,448 --> 00:16:08,895
Ashley was right.
443
00:16:08,896 --> 00:16:10,067
Ooh, do not let her
hear you say that.
444
00:16:10,068 --> 00:16:11,241
Say what?
445
00:16:11,344 --> 00:16:12,895
Nothing.
Hold on, Janelle.
446
00:16:12,896 --> 00:16:14,379
Everybody, keep an eye
out for the doctor,
447
00:16:14,482 --> 00:16:16,067
and don't panic, OK?
448
00:16:16,068 --> 00:16:18,586
They going to tell me what's
up with Pat in a minute.
449
00:16:18,689 --> 00:16:20,792
I can't believe we're
back at this hospital.
450
00:16:20,793 --> 00:16:22,723
We wouldn't even
be here if all
451
00:16:22,724 --> 00:16:24,517
these male doctors
actually listened
452
00:16:24,620 --> 00:16:25,895
to their female patients.
453
00:16:25,896 --> 00:16:27,895
OK, or if these white doctors
454
00:16:27,896 --> 00:16:29,895
actually listened
to their Black patients.
455
00:16:29,896 --> 00:16:31,723
But y'all ain't ready
for that conversation.
456
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:35,413
Ashley, did you hear me
start the fucking conversation?
457
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,724
- Carson?
- Oh, God.
458
00:16:38,827 --> 00:16:40,068
Thank you.
459
00:16:40,172 --> 00:16:42,241
Finally, a Black doctor
and a woman.
460
00:16:42,344 --> 00:16:43,654
We're going to
have to take Patricia
461
00:16:43,655 --> 00:16:45,550
into an emergency surgery.
462
00:16:45,551 --> 00:16:48,033
Oh, God!
Emergency surgery.
463
00:16:48,034 --> 00:16:51,585
Oh, God, I can't take my
sister in emergency surgery.
464
00:16:51,586 --> 00:16:53,378
OK, thank you, baby.
- I got you.
465
00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:54,895
Thank you.
466
00:16:54,896 --> 00:16:56,516
Somebody's got to be
the rock in this family.
467
00:16:56,517 --> 00:17:00,033
We found some gallstones that
need to be removed immediately.
468
00:17:00,034 --> 00:17:02,723
Gall--you trying to
say my mama got cancer?
469
00:17:02,724 --> 00:17:03,930
Oh, God.
470
00:17:09,896 --> 00:17:12,861
Babe, you going to have to
warn a bitch before you faint.
471
00:17:12,862 --> 00:17:14,136
Why is the detective here?
472
00:17:14,137 --> 00:17:15,619
She's Brandon's
new girlfriend.
473
00:17:15,620 --> 00:17:16,619
His what?
474
00:17:16,620 --> 00:17:18,274
- Just--
- Mm, never mind.
475
00:17:18,275 --> 00:17:19,757
One crisis at a time.
- Mm-hmm.
476
00:17:19,758 --> 00:17:22,171
Listen, Doc, my wife was
just here in the hospital.
477
00:17:22,172 --> 00:17:24,654
How and why was this not
detected the last time?
478
00:17:24,655 --> 00:17:26,274
I can assure
you that Patricia
479
00:17:26,275 --> 00:17:28,067
is in the best possible care.
480
00:17:28,068 --> 00:17:30,792
You should be able to see her
in just a few hours.
481
00:17:30,793 --> 00:17:32,550
Yeah, see,
but you ain't answered
482
00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:33,965
my question, though, Doc.
483
00:17:34,068 --> 00:17:35,723
These things are
often misdiagnosed.
484
00:17:35,724 --> 00:17:37,309
Uh-uh.
485
00:17:37,310 --> 00:17:38,619
I just think
you don't want to talk shit
486
00:17:38,620 --> 00:17:40,999
about your
sexist male colleagues
487
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,310
who don't give a damn about
women unless they fucking them.
488
00:17:43,413 --> 00:17:45,447
But y'all ain't ready
for that conversation.
489
00:17:45,448 --> 00:17:47,205
Oh, my God, Ashley,
we are in the middle
490
00:17:47,206 --> 00:17:49,000
of the fucking conversation.
491
00:17:54,413 --> 00:17:55,792
Where the fuck am I?
492
00:17:55,793 --> 00:17:58,137
You're on an operating table.
493
00:17:58,241 --> 00:17:59,688
What are you doing here,
little me?
494
00:17:59,689 --> 00:18:03,654
I'm here cause you're high
as hell and you're seeing shit.
495
00:18:03,655 --> 00:18:05,343
Now, what are you doing here?
496
00:18:05,344 --> 00:18:07,827
You know we hate the hospitals.
497
00:18:07,931 --> 00:18:09,000
Ever since we had Ashley--
498
00:18:12,448 --> 00:18:13,862
Nope, cut.
499
00:18:13,965 --> 00:18:15,171
I don't have the time
or the budget
500
00:18:15,172 --> 00:18:17,447
for no deep flashback shit
this season!
501
00:18:17,448 --> 00:18:18,861
Fine.
502
00:18:18,862 --> 00:18:22,309
Answer me three questions,
and I'll go away.
503
00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:24,447
Are you young me
or a damn genie?
504
00:18:24,448 --> 00:18:26,792
Question one.
505
00:18:26,793 --> 00:18:28,619
Why ain't you taking care
of yourself?
506
00:18:28,620 --> 00:18:30,689
Fuck you, little me.
I do take care of us.
507
00:18:30,793 --> 00:18:33,447
Um, surgery says--
508
00:18:35,655 --> 00:18:37,448
You don't.
509
00:18:39,586 --> 00:18:42,378
I--I--I'm too busy
taking care of everybody else.
510
00:18:42,379 --> 00:18:43,619
I got shit to handle.
511
00:18:43,620 --> 00:18:46,688
Like how you
"handling" Junebug?
512
00:18:46,689 --> 00:18:48,171
Question two.
513
00:18:48,172 --> 00:18:50,517
Why you do your son so dirty?
514
00:18:50,620 --> 00:18:52,655
I was trying to teach him
a damn lesson.
515
00:18:52,758 --> 00:18:54,826
So he got to be in jail
for that?
516
00:18:54,827 --> 00:18:56,895
We promised our kids
will never see
517
00:18:56,896 --> 00:18:58,826
the inside of a cell like us.
518
00:18:58,827 --> 00:19:00,205
He could have killed hisself!
519
00:19:00,206 --> 00:19:01,861
You just stuffing
him in a box
520
00:19:01,862 --> 00:19:03,412
so you don't have
to deal with him,
521
00:19:03,413 --> 00:19:05,102
just like you're doing
with your emotions,
522
00:19:05,103 --> 00:19:08,067
pretending you don't feel
nothing about Lloyd dying.
523
00:19:08,068 --> 00:19:09,447
It's complicated!
524
00:19:09,448 --> 00:19:11,896
Complicated,
or are you constipated?
525
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:15,412
'Cause you're holding
it all in your body.
526
00:19:15,413 --> 00:19:17,412
I get to the shit
when I'm ready.
527
00:19:17,413 --> 00:19:22,274
Well, the shit's
already getting to you.
528
00:19:22,275 --> 00:19:25,102
Still caring for Lloyd
is confusing, huh?
529
00:19:25,103 --> 00:19:27,481
Ghost, why don't you
worry about your damn self?
530
00:19:27,482 --> 00:19:30,792
I am your damn self, bitch.
531
00:19:30,793 --> 00:19:33,757
Would you heffas
shut the hell up so I can work?
532
00:19:33,758 --> 00:19:35,274
Mama, where the
fuck you come from?
533
00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:38,067
Who the shit is you cussing
at, Gall Stone Creamery?
534
00:19:38,068 --> 00:19:40,068
The devil can't even
hold your ugly ass down.
535
00:19:40,172 --> 00:19:41,275
Listen here.
536
00:19:41,379 --> 00:19:42,619
I'm trying to keep these
doctors' hands steady
537
00:19:42,620 --> 00:19:44,448
so you can stay on Earth.
538
00:19:44,551 --> 00:19:46,896
Unless you ready to die,
Biggie Drawers.
539
00:19:48,862 --> 00:19:51,378
Get these sons
of a bitches off me.
540
00:19:52,862 --> 00:19:55,586
Ah!
Help me!
541
00:19:55,689 --> 00:19:56,688
Get in here!
542
00:19:56,689 --> 00:19:58,240
Mom, Mom, you all right?
543
00:19:58,241 --> 00:20:00,757
Where am I?
What happened?
544
00:20:00,758 --> 00:20:02,309
You had your
gallbladder removed.
545
00:20:02,310 --> 00:20:04,309
Everything went well.
546
00:20:04,310 --> 00:20:05,516
It's too quiet in here.
547
00:20:05,517 --> 00:20:07,413
Where the hell
is Denise loud ass?
548
00:20:07,517 --> 00:20:09,068
She never liked
peace and quiet.
549
00:20:09,172 --> 00:20:11,274
You think you do
until you get it.
550
00:20:11,275 --> 00:20:12,724
They ain't never
understand that the quiet
551
00:20:12,827 --> 00:20:14,412
ain't so peaceful for us.
552
00:20:14,413 --> 00:20:16,481
If it gets too quiet, all
that pain you avoid every day
553
00:20:16,482 --> 00:20:18,067
comes crashing in, doesn't it?
554
00:20:18,068 --> 00:20:20,241
Damn, she really knows, huh?
555
00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:22,585
She just over-educated.
556
00:20:22,586 --> 00:20:23,723
Who are you talking to?
557
00:20:23,724 --> 00:20:25,413
Nobody.
Is everybody here?
558
00:20:25,517 --> 00:20:27,067
Everybody but Junebug.
559
00:20:27,068 --> 00:20:28,378
Did he call again?
560
00:20:28,379 --> 00:20:29,758
Yeah, begging and screaming
to come home.
561
00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:31,103
You know the only reason
why he was drinking
562
00:20:31,206 --> 00:20:32,724
is because me
and Janelle moved out.
563
00:20:33,827 --> 00:20:35,067
He said that?
564
00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:36,758
Yeah, he was crying, too.
565
00:20:37,827 --> 00:20:38,999
My poor baby.
566
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,240
I think you
should bail him out.
567
00:20:40,241 --> 00:20:42,448
Look, I'm going
to go get Dad, OK?
568
00:20:43,586 --> 00:20:46,792
We can deal with this
another way.
569
00:20:46,793 --> 00:20:48,724
Don't give Junebug
the same past we had.
570
00:20:50,586 --> 00:20:52,171
Hey, Sleeping Beauty.
571
00:20:52,172 --> 00:20:54,102
Terry, we got to get
Junebug out the slammer.
572
00:20:54,103 --> 00:20:55,861
Hold up.
Where did that come from?
573
00:20:55,862 --> 00:20:57,136
'Cause we've been saying that.
574
00:20:57,137 --> 00:20:58,792
Been on y'all side,
575
00:20:58,793 --> 00:21:01,862
and I regretted it as soon
as I woke up this morning.
576
00:21:01,965 --> 00:21:04,067
He just pissed us off
so damn bad.
577
00:21:04,068 --> 00:21:05,688
Hey, hey, hey, baby,
578
00:21:05,689 --> 00:21:07,343
don't you worry about that,
all right?
579
00:21:07,344 --> 00:21:09,378
I'm going to go and take
care of it, all right?
580
00:21:09,379 --> 00:21:10,550
Mm-hmm.
581
00:21:10,551 --> 00:21:12,171
Go and get some rest.
582
00:21:12,172 --> 00:21:13,413
Mm-hmm.
583
00:21:19,103 --> 00:21:20,274
Brandon.
584
00:21:20,275 --> 00:21:21,274
Yeah.
585
00:21:21,275 --> 00:21:22,206
Bring me back
some Chick-fil-A.
586
00:21:22,310 --> 00:21:24,172
This hospital food
taste like ass.
587
00:21:27,206 --> 00:21:29,826
Ooh, thank you for
letting me finish your hair.
588
00:21:29,827 --> 00:21:31,343
It calms my nerves.
589
00:21:31,344 --> 00:21:33,757
Otherwise, I'd be fighting all
these doctors in this hospital.
590
00:21:33,758 --> 00:21:35,378
It's all good.
591
00:21:35,379 --> 00:21:37,724
I'm just glad
I could be of help someway.
592
00:21:37,827 --> 00:21:43,516
Hey, girl, you ain't never
seen a beauty shop in the ER?
593
00:21:43,517 --> 00:21:48,757
If lives can be saved,
edges can be laid.
594
00:21:48,758 --> 00:21:50,033
So Sheila.
595
00:21:50,034 --> 00:21:51,274
Yes.
596
00:21:51,275 --> 00:21:52,482
Tell me how you
became an opp--
597
00:21:52,586 --> 00:21:53,688
I mean, a cop.
598
00:21:53,689 --> 00:21:56,309
Oh, it's really a no-brainer.
599
00:21:56,310 --> 00:21:58,205
I grew up in Gary,
600
00:21:58,206 --> 00:22:01,447
where you either had to get out
or become tough enough to stay.
601
00:22:01,448 --> 00:22:03,241
Oh, that sounds like
living with Pat-Pat.
602
00:22:03,344 --> 00:22:05,585
No comment.
603
00:22:05,586 --> 00:22:07,275
Anyway, I became a cop because
604
00:22:07,379 --> 00:22:09,103
I got tired
of complaining about cops.
605
00:22:09,206 --> 00:22:10,412
I didn't trust them.
606
00:22:10,413 --> 00:22:12,930
So I decided to become
one I could trust.
607
00:22:12,931 --> 00:22:16,343
And yeah, it could be
rough as shit out there,
608
00:22:16,344 --> 00:22:19,067
which is why I love
coming home to someone
609
00:22:19,068 --> 00:22:22,412
as fun and
as loving as Brandon.
610
00:22:22,413 --> 00:22:25,688
He just--
he just makes things brighter.
611
00:22:25,689 --> 00:22:28,067
Really?
612
00:22:28,068 --> 00:22:31,688
Yes.
I love your nephew, Denise.
613
00:22:31,689 --> 00:22:33,343
And I'm not
running game on him,
614
00:22:33,344 --> 00:22:34,792
he's not running game on me,
615
00:22:34,793 --> 00:22:37,447
which is what you really wanted
to know, right?
616
00:22:37,448 --> 00:22:38,516
Who, me?
617
00:22:38,517 --> 00:22:43,412
Yes, you, Inspector Ratchet.
618
00:22:43,413 --> 00:22:47,068
All right, I was snooping
on you for Pat-Pat.
619
00:22:47,172 --> 00:22:49,931
But you ain't gotta worry,
'cause you cool as hell.
620
00:22:50,034 --> 00:22:51,999
There's nothing bad to report.
- Aw.
621
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:53,585
I appreciate you.
And you know what?
622
00:22:53,586 --> 00:22:56,171
It was really fun getting
to know you, too, today.
623
00:22:56,172 --> 00:22:57,895
In spite of your
intentions.
624
00:22:57,896 --> 00:23:00,448
It was.
625
00:23:00,551 --> 00:23:02,067
You know what?
626
00:23:02,068 --> 00:23:04,309
I just want to say,
well, I mean,
627
00:23:04,310 --> 00:23:08,137
it seems like you and Brandon
have what me and Kareem have.
628
00:23:08,241 --> 00:23:11,930
And if you two are as
happy as us two, then shit.
629
00:23:11,931 --> 00:23:14,517
God bless.
Ain't nothing wrong with that.
630
00:23:14,620 --> 00:23:17,137
I do want to ask
you a question, though.
631
00:23:17,241 --> 00:23:18,240
Shoot.
632
00:23:18,241 --> 00:23:19,861
OK.
633
00:23:19,862 --> 00:23:22,862
Well, your scalp had told me
that you eat pussy on the side.
634
00:23:34,517 --> 00:23:36,516
Thank you for pulling through,
Pat-Pat.
635
00:23:36,517 --> 00:23:38,343
I know how you hate hospitals,
636
00:23:38,344 --> 00:23:40,274
but you did the right thing
coming in.
637
00:23:40,275 --> 00:23:41,688
I know.
638
00:23:41,689 --> 00:23:44,516
Can you believe the gall
of these fucking stones?
639
00:23:44,517 --> 00:23:46,171
What dirt did you manage
to get on Sheila?
640
00:23:46,172 --> 00:23:47,516
No dirt.
641
00:23:47,517 --> 00:23:50,171
And I looked, Pat,
but she is the shit.
642
00:23:50,172 --> 00:23:52,034
She is funny,
she's chill.
643
00:23:52,137 --> 00:23:54,309
I like her, Pat.
I'm sorry.
644
00:23:54,310 --> 00:23:55,688
Damn.
645
00:23:55,689 --> 00:23:57,688
And believe it or not,
I think she's good for Brandon.
646
00:23:57,689 --> 00:24:00,412
I mean, when she
talks about him, Pat,
647
00:24:00,413 --> 00:24:02,378
it's not lust that I see.
648
00:24:02,379 --> 00:24:03,448
It's love.
649
00:24:03,551 --> 00:24:05,240
Well, I guess
that's what matter.
650
00:24:05,241 --> 00:24:07,516
Even though she was alive
for slavery.
651
00:24:07,517 --> 00:24:10,826
Hey, we are literally
the same damn age.
652
00:24:10,827 --> 00:24:12,620
What is your issue with her?
653
00:24:12,724 --> 00:24:15,136
I just don't like her
taking my son from me.
654
00:24:15,137 --> 00:24:17,103
You know, I'm going to miss
having Brandon in the basement
655
00:24:17,206 --> 00:24:18,516
to cuss out.
656
00:24:18,517 --> 00:24:21,550
Well, you still got Junebug,
657
00:24:21,551 --> 00:24:23,171
and I'm sure he'll give you
658
00:24:23,172 --> 00:24:25,274
plenty of fun reasons
to cuss him out.
659
00:24:26,896 --> 00:24:29,516
Hey, Ma, you OK?
660
00:24:29,517 --> 00:24:31,481
Well, if it ain't
Mr. DUI himself?
661
00:24:31,482 --> 00:24:33,379
Dumb, unemployed, and ignorant.
662
00:24:36,206 --> 00:24:37,964
I'm sorry for
stressing you out, Ma.
663
00:24:37,965 --> 00:24:39,413
Wait a minute, now.
664
00:24:39,517 --> 00:24:43,275
Is that a teardrop tattoo
on your face?
665
00:24:43,379 --> 00:24:46,240
Yeah, they gave it to me
because I wouldn't stop crying.
666
00:24:49,724 --> 00:24:51,067
That's not funny.
667
00:24:51,068 --> 00:24:52,999
They putting me
on house arrest.
668
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,412
Gotta live with this mess
for the rest of my life.
669
00:24:55,413 --> 00:24:57,274
Wait, what?
Dad, come on.
670
00:24:57,275 --> 00:24:59,240
What? It wasn't me.
I bailed him out.
671
00:24:59,241 --> 00:25:01,689
But drunk driving
is a serious crime.
672
00:25:01,793 --> 00:25:04,654
They're going to install an
ankle bracelet in a few days.
673
00:25:04,655 --> 00:25:06,827
He's going to be housebound
for a while.
674
00:25:06,931 --> 00:25:08,309
No, Bug, I got you.
675
00:25:08,310 --> 00:25:10,136
I'll show you how to take
the ankle bracelet off,
676
00:25:10,137 --> 00:25:12,000
because see,
Denise Grease is multi-purpose.
677
00:25:12,103 --> 00:25:15,000
So you just put it--
- Denise, shut the fuck up.
678
00:25:15,103 --> 00:25:17,137
I was just kidding.
679
00:25:18,275 --> 00:25:20,654
Can I talk to you guys
in private?
680
00:25:20,655 --> 00:25:22,895
Can y'all give us
the room, please?
681
00:25:22,896 --> 00:25:25,620
OK, we're just going to
listen through the door.
682
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:31,792
Ma, I'm sorry for everything.
683
00:25:31,793 --> 00:25:33,447
I hate seeing you like this,
684
00:25:33,448 --> 00:25:36,619
but I take full accountability
for my actions
685
00:25:36,620 --> 00:25:39,102
and the way they may
have affected others.
686
00:25:39,103 --> 00:25:42,481
Where the hell
you learn them words from?
687
00:25:42,482 --> 00:25:46,964
Dad made me rehearse it
in the car.
688
00:25:46,965 --> 00:25:49,309
But seriously.
689
00:25:49,310 --> 00:25:51,792
I really am sorry.
690
00:25:51,793 --> 00:25:53,999
I appreciate
your apology, baby.
691
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:55,861
I'm sorry, too.
692
00:25:55,862 --> 00:25:58,000
We could have handled
that differently.
693
00:26:01,137 --> 00:26:02,241
Damn, are y'all done?
694
00:26:02,344 --> 00:26:04,586
And Pat, next time,
flush the fucking toilet.
695
00:26:06,931 --> 00:26:09,068
Well, I'm glad that y'all
both learned your lesson
696
00:26:09,172 --> 00:26:11,378
the easy way today so
you won't have to learn
697
00:26:11,379 --> 00:26:12,724
the hard way tomorrow.
698
00:26:12,827 --> 00:26:15,551
See, he ready to
have the conversation.
699
00:26:17,724 --> 00:26:19,413
Look, y'all,
I'm going to slow down
700
00:26:19,517 --> 00:26:21,723
and I'm going to
put my health first.
701
00:26:21,724 --> 00:26:23,068
Good, 'cause you
ain't got to take
702
00:26:23,172 --> 00:26:24,309
the world on by yourself, Pat.
703
00:26:24,310 --> 00:26:26,205
Yeah?
704
00:26:26,206 --> 00:26:28,240
And Junebug, you going to be
paying for all the damages
705
00:26:28,241 --> 00:26:29,861
to your mama's car, too.
706
00:26:29,862 --> 00:26:31,068
- What?
- Yes, sir.
707
00:26:31,172 --> 00:26:32,205
- No, Dad.
- Mm-hmm.
708
00:26:32,206 --> 00:26:33,688
I thought insurance
covered that.
709
00:26:33,689 --> 00:26:34,964
Maybe, maybe not.
710
00:26:34,965 --> 00:26:37,033
But you know your new nickname
is Nationwide,
711
00:26:37,034 --> 00:26:38,895
because every damn dime
you gonna get
712
00:26:38,896 --> 00:26:41,206
is going to be by my side.
713
00:26:42,620 --> 00:26:44,412
Man, y'all are mean.
714
00:26:44,413 --> 00:26:46,412
But, hey, at least
Sheila was nice to me.
715
00:26:46,413 --> 00:26:47,895
Girlfriend's pretty cool,
Brandon.
716
00:26:47,896 --> 00:26:49,723
That's what I've been
trying to tell everybody.
717
00:26:49,724 --> 00:26:51,344
Matter of fact,
is she still here?
718
00:26:51,448 --> 00:26:52,379
Did she leave?
719
00:26:52,482 --> 00:26:54,550
Oh, damn.
My bad, B.
720
00:26:54,551 --> 00:26:57,033
She was waiting on you
to make her big entrance.
721
00:26:57,034 --> 00:26:58,343
She got her hair did today.
722
00:26:58,344 --> 00:26:59,378
Oh, no.
723
00:26:59,379 --> 00:27:01,412
Oh, Sheila?
724
00:27:05,344 --> 00:27:07,931
I was speechless, too.
725
00:27:08,034 --> 00:27:11,274
Uh, Brandon, you like it, baby?
726
00:27:11,275 --> 00:27:13,033
It's a whole new woman,
ain't it, B?
727
00:27:14,034 --> 00:27:17,379
♪ Oh, oh, Sheila ♪
728
00:27:19,068 --> 00:27:22,620
Oh, she looking like
a stripper named Candy Corn.
729
00:27:24,103 --> 00:27:25,447
Damn it.
730
00:27:25,448 --> 00:27:28,136
That's the candy that
nobody fucking likes.
731
00:27:28,137 --> 00:27:30,102
No, no, no, baby,
I love candy corn.
732
00:27:30,103 --> 00:27:31,826
I love it. Come here.
Come here, baby.
733
00:27:31,827 --> 00:27:34,619
Let me lick your candy corn.
Come here.
734
00:27:36,137 --> 00:27:40,068
Real people,
real cases, real extra.
735
00:27:43,137 --> 00:27:46,136
You did the right thing
with Junebug.
736
00:27:46,137 --> 00:27:47,792
How the fuck did
you get in my house?
737
00:27:47,793 --> 00:27:50,620
Damn!
Can't I give a compliment?
738
00:27:50,724 --> 00:27:52,103
I'm trying to sleep.
739
00:27:52,206 --> 00:27:54,448
Child, you don't sleep,
Ms. Pat.
740
00:27:54,551 --> 00:27:56,136
Too much to stress about.
741
00:27:56,137 --> 00:27:59,447
I mean, sure,
Junebug is doing good now,
742
00:27:59,448 --> 00:28:00,999
but what if he is
a repeat offender?
743
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:02,034
Oh, Lord, do I have to--
744
00:28:02,137 --> 00:28:03,999
And what if Sheila
dumps Brandon
745
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:05,412
and he crashes out again?
746
00:28:05,413 --> 00:28:06,447
I don't wanna hear this shit.
747
00:28:06,448 --> 00:28:08,309
I mean, aren't you worried
748
00:28:08,310 --> 00:28:12,861
about Janelle at that college
all alone for the first time?
749
00:28:12,862 --> 00:28:14,171
Just try to get quiet.
750
00:28:14,172 --> 00:28:15,999
And what about
Denise and Kareem?
751
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:17,550
I mean, how could you sleep
752
00:28:17,551 --> 00:28:20,448
with all these niggas
running around in your head?
753
00:28:27,034 --> 00:28:29,000
Quiet ain't that bad.
754
00:28:40,413 --> 00:28:41,826
♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪
755
00:28:41,827 --> 00:28:43,964
♪ And she don't
take no stuff ♪
756
00:28:43,965 --> 00:28:45,792
♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪
757
00:28:45,793 --> 00:28:48,343
♪ And you can't get enough ♪
758
00:28:48,344 --> 00:28:50,343
♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪
759
00:28:50,344 --> 00:28:52,516
♪ With a husband and kids ♪
760
00:28:52,517 --> 00:28:55,344
♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪
761
00:28:55,448 --> 00:29:01,517
♪ And it's
"The Ms. Pat Show" ♪